tänker fortfarande på detdär med min skelning.
att folk nog missuppfattar mig ofta. när jag tex tittar på deras hund(ar) så tror dom att jag ser på dem. hm. men det är lättare med hundar. det har alltid känts som att hundar fattar vem jag är. Ibland undrar jag om dom ser mig som en i gänget - som en hund. we chew the same bones.
har gått in på dethär ämnet förr. skrev en text som hette "why I like dogs", nehe, jag kom ihåg fel där. här är den
When are sad people happy? Or what makes sad people happy?
I always feel good when I see a dog. Dogs are good. Generally their minds are not fucked up like ours. That's why they make me feel good. They just wag their tails, sniff around and bark occasionally. I might be wrong but the feeling I get by seeing a dog is good and calm so what else can I think? People make me nervous. I can't trust them. You never know what's going on in their minds.
Usually I don't get good vibes when watching "happy families". I don't believe their happiness is true or then the sight of them just bores me, or even worse, sometimes it scares the shit out of me. This is obviously an age problem. What else could it be? Everything is explained with something, the fear of getting old, fear or dying, fear of vanishing.
I'm not extremely sad but I can be very melancholic from time to time. I also feel that I'm afraid of a lot of things. I never feel empty or tired. I feel restless and angry. Full of thoughts, ideas bursting inside me. I feel that this world steals my freedom, it steals my precious time. I feel I'm taking part in a long game of monopoly and that I can't get out or quit. And if I would quit I wouldn't know where to go, except heaven if there is one. This "not knowing situation" makes me sad. I understand the situation very well but I don't know the solution nor do I have an explanation. It's like understanding eternity. It's impossible, but you still try and when you get tired you get sad, some people call this melancholia. Some philosophers even divided people into four categories according to their personalities. One of them was the melancholic one. Saturn influenced these people strongly.
You could say they are nostalgic dreamers but I believe it's more complex than that.
I don't have any explanations yet, nor am I a professor in psychology, astronomy or philosophy. I'm simply a curious artist. I'm not looking for a remedy or trying to get cured, because the feelings I have make my life exiting and even worth living.
ok. nu handlade den texten inte så värst mycket om hundar. Plus att jag nog har förändrats lite på vissa punkter. Som det med lyckliga familjer, numera avundas jag dom mer eller mindre. det beror på. Om dom är sånadär Latte familjer - då blir jag mer avskräckt. Men om dom har en tatuering eller en hund eller bara ser så där lämpligt coolt trashiga ut. om dom dricker en öl. om dom inte tramsar för mycket.
ok. satan också. om dom ser ut som att en av dom kunde vara jag.
där kom det. nu har jag sagt det. ja, ja. jag vill ju också. vadå? uppleva lycka med ett gäng folk man kallar familj.
det var ju lite nära här ett tag men kortslottet rasade. tack och lov får jag väl säga nu i efterhand. ridå liksom. ridå for the fucking madman. han som var allt det där fantastiska man trodde men som sedermera och rätt kvickt faktiskt började droppa ned sina aggressiva bomber på mig. som tur skrek jag senn NEJ.
efter det tänkte jag länge att hund får det bli.
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