attention span on mosquito level

what can I do?

here we are trying to figure things out about our lives?
and in the meantime taking time to also worry about the bigger picture - and realizing time after time that we are not doing enough. that we are doing nothing.

Bonus thought: World war III coming up. Nice one. 10 points extra if it's a nuclear war.

Think about this word then: community. local community.

what can I do about or within my local community

(this dyslexia is killing me - I feel worthless - again turning at your self…)

I left my local community. I decided to give a fuck about it.

or?

to be honest I don't know if anyone cares but I did do something, I worked with a gallery project for 3 years. I worked really hard. I thought it was huge. Back then. Now I just say I contributed to my local art scene. But that's just art. Culture. What good does that do? It's not clinging to nuclear buildings shouting your lungs out. Not standing in front of masses of scray soldiers how are about to invade an innocent village. It's just a bunch of exhibitions...openings and wine.

Now I have a new local art scene in Berlin. It's so much bigger. Actually it's huge. There's so much going on that I can't even sometimes bother. Do I need to contribute? Do I want to contribute?

What is the option? What am I doing otherwise?

Ok. What am I doing? Be honest now.

- I'm a lot at home by my computer. I write. I have a blog. Some of my texts become voiceovers for videowork. Video which I don't really even know if I should call videowork as it's mostly quite simple footage shot in 1 shot.Irrelevant narratives.

- listen to music. of course on my computer.

FUCK. Now I lost it. My attention span is shorter than a mosquitos.

What did I want to say again? what was my point? Did I have a point?

I was standing smoking in the kitchen talking out loud. I believed I said something brilliant. And I remembered I had totally forgotten about Chris Isaak.
I returned to my room and sat down to write down my thoughts and got carried away. Starting the usual whining. Self blame. Self criticism. Pity.

And then zero. Nill. Nothing.

This is sort of a big issue. It might mean I have some sort of a disorder. ADHD.

I can not focus. as I said already my attention span is on mosquito level.

I guess the point is that I need to solve this issue of contribution.

What do others do about it?

Do they?