Monday, 2 November 2009

kort notis

har läst en till Siri Hustvedt roman. The sorrows of an american hette denhär, det är nog hennes senaste.
Väldigt fin. Som vanligt.
Men Blindfold är fortfarande number 1.

Annars inget nytt. Sover gott. Äter gott. Jobbar lite. läser.

Friday, 30 October 2009

a room in my head

in my dreams I enter rooms frequently.

sometimes they are distorted. and often I find secret entrances to other rooms I did not know about. According to some dreamtheories a room represents sexuality. Rooms in dreams can also signyfie emotions.

I have met people that I don't know in these rooms.

But in my concious room I find media. All sorts of media represented.
News papers, Magazines, Books, illustrations, comics, tvs, radios, internet.
You just name it.

It's all there. New and old.

On one hand it reminds me of the old cellars in our house that I used to go to in my childhood. In the cellar I'd find tons of old newspaper, over 100 years old, yellow and dirty, full of dust and cobweb. And the cellar door had warning signs indicating rat poison. So I almost never touched things there. It did happend though.

My todays room is somewhat similar to the memory of the cellars. They also have red crooked brickwalls, sand on the floor and old wooden furniture.
The difference is the light and the smell. It doesn't smell bad and the light is quite strong.

My analysiz is that this room is a reflection on both the past, the now and the future.
It's a room where no choises have been made. Nobody has curated the show.
It's full of lies, rumors and perhaps also thruth. But who knows what is what?
The girl of the cellar?


The mind as a room

Mind is an interesting word - in my mothertongue we use the word "medvetande". Transalated into english that would be something like co-knower.

Where is the mind located? In the head many people claim. But the mind isn't really anythign "real". So is it all over or a room in the head?

stereotyp dröm...

inatt vaknade jag av min dröm o låg o analyserade den. det var två slags typer i den. en kvinna (jag) och en man (en blandning av några män jag känner...).
Vi visste båda att något underligt skulle ske. Vi var i ett stort hus med trappor o korridorer. vi sprang i någon korridor och sparkade sönder nånslags små objekt, vi tyckte båda det var skitkul. Hursomhelst så hade "han", dne manlige figuren sett nånslags vision, ett pelarlikt ljus som sken, och han trodde att han skulle ev. dö. Jag, kvinnan, var väldigt rädd och ängslig men han var rätt lugn och tröstande och pratade om förändring osv. 

när jag sedan vaknade tänkte jag att enligt Jungs analys står ofta kvinna o man för Anima och Animus i oss själva. så dessa två karaktärer är bara delar av en själv. Av vilka den ena är ängslig och den andra mer modig inför förändring...
så där låg jag mitt i natten, o tänkte: kämpa på Nina. Var inte så ängslig nu...

Men tänk hur skit stereotypt man drömmer då, att den som står för modet är man och ängslan kvinna. Usch, feministen i mig skäms. >Eller kanske en del av mig håller på o dör, förändras? och något i mig ängslas för det?

i ett senare skede satt jag på en buss på någon resa. det satt ett gäng människor runt mig jag inte kände. en blond man bredvid mig. han hade starka fina armar. vi pratade lite och jag kände mig trygg med honom. jag ville stanna där med honom. plötsligt vaknade jag av att hans armar var kring mig iett hårt men mjukt grepp. fint. men när jag såg på honom hade han tagit av sig hatten och liknade lite F, men var magrare och hade svart långt risigt lite lockigt hår. han hade en son också. en söt pojke som satt vid fönstret.

dröm 3:
några tjejer på en konstskola? vill ha ett porträtt/foto på mej för att vi skall skiljas åt eller jag ska flytta. jag rotar o letar bland lådor o album. tittar på negativ men hittar inget bra. på alla bilder ser jag konstig ut. på en serie har jag ritat mustach och stora långa ögonbryn på mej. på ett foto från 6an är mina läppar vansinnigt stora och min näsa ser lite missbildad ut. hittar ett som är bra om man klipper det men det är helt suddigt. kanske var det tom ett negativ och det finns ingen tid att kopiera...

focus on work

focus on work

do work

write a sentence

a little line here.another there.

think about a budget.
MONEY.

how to get it.
how to spend it.

applications.

editing.

subtitles.

new storyboards.

new pretty stories.
to film.
to edit.
to fade in. to fade out
to cut.


where to cut what.

cut the crap.

Focus for fucks sakes.

Thursday, 23 April 2009

egentligen spelar det ingen roll var man är.

egentligen spelar det ingen roll var man är.

efter samtalet med Juliana om Europa versus USA och speciellt europeers nedlåtande syn på USA blev jag berörd. touched.

någon knut öppnades. i varje fall lite.

there was something unlocking in my head. an old stubborn way of thinking had to give away - and that's great. Everybody should celebrate that.

See, I think I've been secretly thinking stupid things about the European greatness.

But that's not right. not at all. that way of rationalizing is shit. complete shite.

Well, yeah there are great things, people, traditions, foods here but so is there all over.

Borders suck. At least mental ones.

Nina in Paris

funny, it's like a from time to time don't feel I'm in Paris. Or to be more correct I don't feel away from home. And when I hear the tourist boat pass I look at with amazment: thinking, wow where am I? Am I Paris???? what, you must be joking.

It's a similar feeling I had in New Foundland. While being there I'd constantly believe I'm somewhere in Ireland , Scotland or northern England. And when I'd see the logo "american standard" on the bathroom sink I'd be a bit perplexed - thinking - hm, weird, why would they have that here?
And after a second remember - oh, yes, this is Northern America...

Today I alomost told Pauline that I thoght this city is very French - uh, well of course- it's f.king Paris!

What is going on in my mind?

Somehow this makes me feel even more sane, I'd dare to say, even healthy.
All places are home to me.
Good.

Thursday, 19 February 2009

Slippery Terrain at Eastern Edge Gallery in St.Johns Canada March 7th - April 16th 2009



I'll be showing the "old" Tele-Pets video in a monitor. Tele-Pets is a video about telepathic experiences between humanbeings and animals. I do have more text on this but I guess most of us know this piece already....
In case of space etc I will also show another new sound work about an ageing dog. In the video a person gives a speech to a dog. The speech is a poetic stroy about how the two met.
Furthermore, during the opening I will conduct/create a telepathic experiment with the audience. The event will at first appear as a quite meditative relaxation (slightly "crystalballish" - can I say so in english?) but in the end turn out to be a scientific experiment.





1. PLEASE FIND YOURSELVES A COMFORTABLE PLACE PLACE TO BE IN AND CLOSE YOUR EYES.
2. RELAX AND BREATHE DEEPLY AND SLOWLY.

3. RELAX YOUR BODY. LET YOUR ARMS AND HANDS FALL DOWN. KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED. BREATHE SLOWLY.
IMAGINE WAVES OF RELAXATION RUNNING DOWN YOUR BODY - FROM YOUR SCALP DOWN TO YOUR TOES.
WASHING OUT ALL STRESS, ALL TENSION AND ALL THOUGHTS.
RELAX ALL MUSCLES IN YOUR BODY.
EMPTY YOUR MIND.
THERE ARE NO THOUGHTS IN YOUR HEAD.

FEEL HOW HEAVY YOUR BODY BECOMES.
YOUR EYES ARE HEAVY. ALL MUSCLES IN YOUR FACE GET HEAVY.
YOUR HEAD IS SO HEAVY IT FALLS DOWN.
YOUR ARMS WEIGH TONS. AS YOUR HANDS AND FINGERS .
YOUR UPPER BODY IS HEAVY. BELLY.
YOUR BOTTOM. YOUR THIGHS. YOUR LEGS.
YOUR FEET BECOME HEAVY. AND YOUR TOES.

PAUSE.


3. TAKE A DEEP BREATHE AND INHALE OUT.
NOW YOU ARE TOTALLY CALM AND RELAXED.

4. YOUR MIND IS STABLE. YOU HAVE FULL CONTROL OVER IT.
YOUR MIND IS CLEAR AND FOCUSED.

5. STILL KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED. BREATHE CALMLY.

NOW IMAGINE A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON (WHO IS ALIVE) IS IN FRONT OF YOU.
KEEP ALL OTHER THOUGHTS AWAY.

PAUSE

FOCUS ON THIS PERSON. TRY TO SEE VERY DETAIL OF YOUR FRIEND. NOSE. MOUTH. EYES. EYELIDS. LIPS. CHEEKS. SKIN. HAIR.
HANDS. CLOTHES.
SEE ALL SHAPES AND FORMS. VISUALIZE. DON'T THINK IN WORDS.

PAUSE

NOW HEAR THE PERSONS VOICE. TALK. LAUGHTER. WHISPER. YELLING.

PAUSE

SEE YOUR FRIEND MOVE AROUND. IN HER HOUSE. YARD. STREET. FOCUS ON THIS PERSONS EXISTENCE.

PAUSE

THINK OF A SPECIFIC MEMORY OF THIS PERSON. YOU CAN SAY HER NAME.

PAUSE

FEEL HER TOUCH ON YOU. FEEL HER PRESENCE CLOSE TO YOU.

LONG PAUSE


TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND INHALE OUT. WIGGLE YOUR TOES AND SLOWLY WAKE UP AND OPEN YOUR EYES.
THANK YOU.
I am at a concert.
The music is beautiful. The ligths are dimmed.
I see myself floating, wavering in the room, raising up towards the ceiling.

I'm so relaxed and comfotable I don't fear anything.

arbetar för närvarande med en performance idé inför grupputställning i Kanada.
Det kommer att bli ett telepatiskt telefon experiment. En stor grupp fokusering. men först skall gruppen slappna av o senn först fokusera. O så ringer förhoppningsvis telefonerna.
Detta har då lett till att jag har lärt mig slappna av.!!!!
Äntligen.
34 o avslappnad mellan varven.

Konserten på Konsthallen blev en speciell upplevelse. En milstolpe i mitt liv som avslappnad.
Jag fantiserar faktiskt om att skapa en liten film om upplevelsen. Säg inget om NewAge.
Det är liksom OVAN om det. Värre. haha.

Det är religiöst. men skit skönt.