I realize I only write about myself. and what evolves in my head, which is not that much.

its sad.

I should reflect more about what happens around me, about what I read and see and experience.

Today I was staring at a boy in the tram. Actually at two boys, two girls and at an old ladys shoes/ankles.

that's sad too.

I experienced the feeling of being old. Old people stare. and kids before they turn ten and become concerned with what other people think of them. it's about awareness. I guess (nice rhime?)

well, I was mostly staring at one boy. He reminded me of something. i could remember how it must have been to be 16.
And I wonderd what kind of socks this boy had. dirty shouldbewhite tube ones. perhaps. or different ones.

I was at work to, to earn money. the best moment was going to the toilet at a coffeebreak. I wanted to bring a magazine but didn't dare. So I did a game I often play. It goes like this, find some text, i.e on a soapbottle and come up with i.e famous actors for each letter as fast as you can. You could time it with your peeingspeed. that's is the hardcore version.

Sometimes I just check the transalations on soaps etc. amusing.

I somewhat panicked on the tram home. I thought about age after staring at that boy.
I thought that that normally people work in order to get nice lifes. They sort of prepare for getting old.
When you are young life is about having fun and exiting times. And being wanted.
When you get older those things change.
You have too much money to experience real exitment and getting cheap beer is not fun anymore.
And there are not so many out there that honestly WANT you, except your children if you managed to have any. and they mostly want your money.

anyhow...so the panich sprang out from that idea of preparing. I haven't prepared anything for anything.
I just dwell...
And soon I'll be 60something and probably dwell...

Am I happy dwelling? that is kind of the question of today.

You?